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Joke of the Day

"What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east? The allahu ak-bar"

"Mommy I got an A ""Mommy! Mommy! I got an A"" says Tommy to his mommy ""So what? You still have cancer!"" says mommy"

"Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount."

"Three guys are walking down the street, two of them walk into a bar.... the third one ducks"

"2001 A Space Odyssey 2 The spaceship returns HAL is just as uncooperative as ever. He never works. He becomes the basis for Windows 10."

"Why didn't the President fight with the chair? Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists."

"What do Ryan Lochte and the water in Rio have in common? They're both full of shit."

"I could literally eat every day and not get sick of it."

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!"

"Ever worry that spiders have 8 slippers to slap you with?"