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Joke of the Day

"Paramount is making a movie about a pair of Chinese race car drivers... It's called ""Two Wongs Don't Make a Right"""

"WHO SAID ""YOU GOTTA KEEP EM SEPARATED"" A) Gov. George Wallace B) The Offspring C) My mom teaching me to do laundry D) All of the above"

"I know they're bad but ya wanna know why I love dead baby jokes? They never get old."

"""Sir, we lost the platoon. All our men are gone."" A lone camouflaged fedora is seen in the distance. ""not all men"""

"Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]"

":( turn that frown upside down ):"

"The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us"

"How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences."

"My girlfriend says she needs time and distance Is she calculating velocity?"

"In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger."