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Joke of the Day

"What do you say after stubbing your toe? I thought the title was the start of a joke. You OWW me one joke!"

"I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by outrunning the cops."

"Redditor and the Hooker . . . you won't *BELIEVE* what she told him! Keep the LPTs and give me my sixty dollars."

"If you eat the prize from a cereal box.. does that make you a specially marked box? source: soos says some words"

"My oldest son come up to me today and said, I'm feeling suicidal, dad.' Hang in there, son' I said pointing at the spare room."

"Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote."

"[good cop] admit you stole those diamonds [suspect] wait but I peed on them so now they're mine [dog cop] Jim he has a point"

"Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's."

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person? An Easter basket case!"

"yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas."