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Joke of the Day

"My Father said: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' So I sent him to a girls boarding school in France."

"I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body."

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."

"I didn't know what to wear to my Premature Ejaculation Society meeting... So I just came in my pants."

"A mayor bans people living in his town from being buried in the local cemetery They have to be dead first"

"I Can control sheep just by listening to them I herd it with my own ears"

"Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself."

"Sorry if my tweets aren't good enough for you, person who retweets Cher"

"Why do men die before their wives? Because we want to!"

"Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa."