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Joke of the Day

"My daughter made the carpet hot lava and I'm afraid I'll be late for work now."

"Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone? Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for."

"Bacon, Eggs, and Toast walk into a bar. . . The bartender yells, ""Get the hell out of here! We don't serve breakfast!"""

"What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window? Ayyee essay, where are you going?"

"How can you tell two people are married? Both are yelling at the same kid."

"Where do galaxies go to college? University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :)"

"Why shouldn't you get stoned and reddit?"

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Caesars."

"Where can you find tetraplegics? Where you left them."