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Joke of the Day
"What is Dracula's favorite fruit? A nectarine."
Next Joke
"My girl told me she's depressed. Because of her weight, she suffers discrimination. I told her ""Just ignore them. You're bigger than that."""
"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"
"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand."
"There are two kinds of people in this world. People who say they piss in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."
"Hey McDonalds! I bet there are a bunch of 300lb+ people that want to be in your commercials too!"
"Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed."
"Always leave a bad date by politely spilling your drink on the floor, and telling him your water broke."
"It would be really nice if everything was coffee."
"My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions."