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Joke of the Day

"The other day I was eating out my grandma, and I tasted horse cum. That's when I realized... That's how she died"

"Oh the Irony.... My predictive text doesn't know how to spell Nostradamus."

"Answer: Wicker Chair Question: What did Elmer Fudd do when Jennifer Lawrence stood up?"

"I'm starting to believe that most people wouldn't be that much different if they were turned into actual zombies...."

"I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you."

"Accidentally wore a red shirt and khaki pants to Target today... Long story short, I think I got promoted to Assistant Manager."

"Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him."

"What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun."

"Nobody is happy. Be like Nobody."

"Got a call that my Grandma only has 1 day left to live... But I'm still not paying the ransom."