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Joke of the Day

"A thief broke into my house last night. He was searching for money, ...so I woke up and started searching with him."

"Have you heard the one about the late pizza guy? Just gotta work on the delivery."

"It's a plant shaped like an egg. EGGPLANT! It's a place where we make fire. FIREPLACE! Diving in the sky. SKYDIVING! Humans are creative."

"In the window of a bar in Philadelphia Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even."

"Me: omg can smoking weed make u hallucinate? Dog making pancakes: lol that wasn't weed dude"

"What's your view on lesbians? 1080p"

"What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of poland? Ghetto Blaster"

"You see, the thing about dark humor is... it's a lot like food. Not everybody gets it."

"There would be no evil in the word..... if Satan had life alert."

"What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !"