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Joke of the Day

"Whats a plants favorite drink? Root Beer"

"I can't get into Breaking Bad because I have trouble remembering all the little facts. For example: the name of Walter's boss at the car wash. I just need to stop getting Bogdan in the details."

"I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers... I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums..."

"What's worse than an unfinished joke?"

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"I gave my cat a bath the other day... he liked it, but the fur stuck to my tongue."

"I think my wife came from Ikea Cause she came with extra parts that I didn't know about"

"[2 detectives are at a murder scene] ""my god Wilkins. Are you thinking what im thinking?"" ... ""a lasagne driving a car?"" ""Exactly"""

"Have you heard the one about the three holes? WELL, WELL, WELL..."

"What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman can dodge a bullet."