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Joke of the Day

"What turns you on the most? Water. It makes me wet instantly."

"What's the difference between and egg and a wank? You can beat an egg."

"Hilary's reaction to learning Bill has been cheating. ""I know."""

"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

"BAR JOKE So, a guy walks into a bar...."

"Young woman... There was a young lady from Exeter, So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er. But only one was so brave as to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er."

"Everything's gonna be ok ma'am, I've got a degree from an online college."

"Yo momma so fat... I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"What's the difference between UFOs and an honest politician? It is possible that UFOs exist."