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Joke of the Day

"why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? because everybody that can run, swim or jump in in the united states..."

"I don't always say bye... but when I do, it's to Felicia"

"What's a pervert's favorite train stop? Molestation"

"A boy swallows a whole jar of coins... A boy swallows a whole jar of coins, and is taken to a hospital. When the doctor came out to speak with the parents, he said, ""No change yet."""

"What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house? I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."

"One time I swallowed an entire box of Alphabits whole and the only thing I pooped out was the lyrics to a Nicki Minaj song"

"Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads? Because every morning they wake up thinking ""What *is* that noise? Oh, right, *of course* !"""

"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. "

"US voters have definitively proven You can go black and then go back"