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Joke of the Day

"A guy with a ponytail wearing mirrored sunglasses and camouflage pants just checked me out and winked at me. Still got it."

"Urine is the opposite of you're out."

"Did you know Cecil was a black lion? And man, even in Africa, the white people **STILL** be killing tiggas."

"Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving."

"So my drug dealer just died. I'm thinking about going to his funeral to, you know, network."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intence."

"If i get a rat tail... If i get a rat tail on my chinese food, should i complain or is it on the house?"

"Thanks to ringtones, I now associate all my favorite songs with the annoyance and dread of being interrupted and having to talk to somebody."

"What's blue, small and sits in a corner? A baby with its hand in the power socket."

"A pony walks into a bar and in a soft and raspy voice says to the bartender, Gimme a beer. The bartender says, Sure buddy, sounds like you got a cough. The pony replies, I'm a little hoarse."