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Joke of the Day

"He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus."

"Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being."

"What does an uncircumcised gangster say?.. ""I cum from the hood"""

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"I think I'm more shocked that Rodney King had a swimming pool than that he is dead"

"Why did the thalidomide man get stopped going through customs? He was caught in the possession of small arms"

"[nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? ""Yes of course we do!"" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*"

"Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ? Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy."

"Why did the librarian hush the mime? Because actions speak louder than words."

"Ladies, don't be sad if your thighs begin to start touching You're becoming a mermaid!"