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Joke of the Day

"Just heard Justin Bieber vowed not to return to the UK after his disastrous tour here. Well done the UK. Well done."

"My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'."

"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""

"What do you call Bono's stupid brother? Duno..."

"How do you make a gay person angry? You tell him you've kidnapped his mother and that you want $5000 for her release, but when he comes just tell him it was a prank."

"What shampoo do dragons prefer? Head & Smolders"

"What did the diabetic's girlfriend call him as pet name? Sweet pee."

"I don't like thinking about gravity. It brings me down."

"How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two."

"What do public toilets and homeless shelters have in common? They're both full of bums"