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Joke of the Day

"If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, ""so it can't get away,"" that's your future serial killer right there."

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"When I was younger, I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts I ate a Brownie."
"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."
"My wife said I could cum in the other hole tonight. But for some reason she got angry when she saw me lying in bed with her friend."
"Why does America spell colour without the u? because fuck u"
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the earth round... and laughed..."
"I just ate a family... ...sized kraft Mac n cheese and now I'm too full to get drunk by myself tonight."
"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."
"You're more useless than a..."
"[NASA press conf] ""good news: we found a cat on Mars"" REPORTER: & the bad news? ""[recalls Curiosity rover running it over] uh it's sleeping"""