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Joke of the Day

"WITCH (using her broom for just sweeping): did we give up our dreams? WIZARD (using his pointy hat as a piping bag for cupcake icing): yes"

"Industrial robots How do industrial robots communicate with humans? They use a conveyor belt."

"What did the redneck girl say to her father? Get off of me dad, you're crushing my Pall Malls!"

"What do you call a train that eats too much? A chew-chew train"

"Last night I was at the bar and this guy kept yelling ""bastard"" at his pint of beer. It's never nice to witness substance abuse."

"What is black, white, and red all over? Interracial double penetration"

"A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship One pirate swabbie asks, ""This be the whaling ship driven by the wench with two vaginas?"" The pirate says, ""Aye, we best be wary of har poons."""

"I sometimes wonder why I'm 33 and single. Then I see you with your screaming kids in the grocery store and quickly remember."

"Dear Mr. Trump, thank you very much For all of the new gifs and new memes last night at the debate."

"39 and 41 had a fight. 42. ... 41."