160339

Joke of the Day

"If 2 people having sex..... If 2 people having sex is called a twosome, and 3 people having sex is called a threesome, then I can see why they call you handsome."

"Why did the skull win 1st place in the race? Because he ran ahead."

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."

"Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him? A glorious reader."

"How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminist can't change anything."

"It's only Wednesday and I'm already 94% done with this week."

"Sex burns 300 calories an hour. After doing some extensive calculations, this year I burned roughly 5 calories."

"Me: I heard Rihanna got food poisoning Brain: Stop M: It was B: No M: Salmonella ella ella ey ey B: This is why I can't do math in your head"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."""

"What was Abraham Lincoln's seating preference? Not John Wilkes Booth!"