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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctors office say to the hurricane? Sorry, we don't take any Joaquins"

"it's so crazy to think that, before the internet, real celebrities had to tattoo the little blue checkmark on their faces"

"What do you call a woman in Thailand? A three-legged lady"

"How do comedians send messages? By tee-hee mail."

"Why did the christian girl like to be choked during sex? So she could be closer to God."

"So there was a pediatrist... no, wait a doct- a... Gynecologist *that's it!* Anyway... I walk in and... ""Sorry, I fucked up the delivery everybody. Also, your baby is dead."""

"The reason iPad has no camera is that there's no way to take a good pic while laughing at how goofy you'd look using it as a big ass camera."

"A dog, a blonde, a rabbi, a priest, a nun, Helen Keller, a black guy, and a horse walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""what's this, some kind of joke?"""

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"""Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs."" - inventor of Whopper Candies."