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Joke of the Day
"Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin."
Next Joke
"The guy in front of me in line to get coffee was loudly complaining that he ""needed his fix"" and then ordered a soy iced mocha latte"
"Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?"
"How do you get a fat girl into your bed? Piece of cake."
"Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away."
"Tug boats hate when their mom comes in their room without knocking."
"What causes a pilot to cry after sex? ...the [mace](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_(spray)"
"If you could have sex with one person you've had sex before.. would it be with your right or left hand?"
"[NSFU] Bill Gates' penis... What does his wife call it? Microsoft."
"What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."