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Joke of the Day
"A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy."
Next Joke
"What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market? Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)"
"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"
"I don't date Chinese girls... That's a big red flag for me..."
"This election year I vote for Seroquel Because I'm Antipsychotic"
"Uma Thurman just got gender reassignment surgery. They're calling it 'the three-inch punch'"
"I know it's fiction but the logic in The Walking Dead is so skewed it is impossible to suspend disbelief. An Asian guy named Glenn? Please"
"How does the Navy separate the men from the boys? ...with a crowbar."
"My girlfriend is like God. Doesn't exist..."
"A man walks into a bar in Westeros And the bartender says ""stop speaking in third person Jaqen for fuck's sake"""