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Joke of the Day

"""I ~don't own~ a TV."" *Binge-views 8 hours of Netflix in bed.*"

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"What are the other letters of the alphabet? Nazis."
"Q: Who is always your friend at school? A: Your princi-pal."
"Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup !"
"Did you hear about the sorcerer that turns people into prostitutes? He's whorifying!"
"What do you call a pirate's helicopter? An Eye-patchy helicopter! >>(Apache) . Ill show myself out."
"What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl in the 1940s? With a dustpan."
"What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin? A jello!"
"Don't worry, men. Women can't tell women to calm down either."
"Saw a chameleon today... must've been a really shitty chameleon."