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Joke of the Day

"What did the Nazi/Islamist soccer team say when they lost the game? The shoes did it!"

"I'm always there for my friends when I need them."

"I used to be a rubbish collector. Now I'm pretty good."

"Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then"

"I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up."

"What's red, white, and full of holes? Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork."

"#rubbishjokes I don't like Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves."

"What's the difference between a hobo on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? A tyre (attire)"

"I think Jurassic Park should have been entitled ""Fuck Religion"" Hahah."

"Somewhere in Brooklyn there's a baby named Helvetica being fussy about eating pureed kale and sleeping in his crib of repurposed bike parts."