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Joke of the Day
"I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it."
Next Joke
"Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?"
"Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank account."
"My Favorite Anti Why was the Black Jew mad? He had to sit at the back of the gas chamber."
"Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him."
"My dick is like an American Too fat, but dangerous."
"Chuck Norris can land a plane in Auto Pilot."
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
"What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble? Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville."
"A man and his son are sitting, naked, on a couch... ... and the little boy asks, ""Dad why are our penises different?"" The father replies, ""Firstly, son, you don't have an erection."""