158718

Joke of the Day

"How does a crackhead lose weight? Diet Coke."

"Why do rapists make great salesmen? They just can't take no for an answer. For the record I don't condone rape."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Some insensitive asshole was tapping it to certain death on his iPhone."

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"[job interview] ""You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."" ""Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."""

"What did one quantum frog say to the other? Quibit."

"What's the difference between regular AIDS and north korean AIDS? Regular AIDS is incurable. North Korean AIDS is invincible!"

"In 2000 years, people will celebrate all this with chocolate eggs delivered by an imaginary rabbit. ~Time travelling me, to Pontius Pilate."

"Is your name Summer? Coz you're HOT!"

"evrytime i go to the zoo, i break down in front of the bird exhibits & shout HOW DID THEY CATCH YOU. U CAN FLY. HOW DID U LET THEM CATCH YOU"