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Joke of the Day

"If you were born in September... Then, you can be sure that your parents started the New Year, with a bang."

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!"

"What do you call a guy that steals burgers? A hamburglar!"

"Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don't know how crazy you are. Also, you're now out of xanax."

"""Please! There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe."" -me in every social situation"

"Friend: [showing baby photos] Me: Ah yes, very baby"

"I have a pen..... I have a apple :D"

"When did you stop beating your wife? When we stopped having masturbation races."

"I was masturbating when I heard some one scream ""Help"". So I came as fast as I could."