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Joke of the Day

"I just googled ""jokes to tell right before you die"" and if that doesn't tell you what kind of person I am, I don't know what does."

"The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the ""happy ending""."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish."

"Giving a woman an orgasm is like riding a bicycle. I always feel silly wearing a helmet."

"I always mean what I say. Sometimes, I didn't mean to say it out loud."

"""LOOK, MA!!!!! NO DIGNITY!!!!"""

"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""

"I like my bacon how I like my choice of copilot.... ....Chewie"

"Him: ...and I asked you out because you're smart and pret-WHY ARE YOU POKING ME WITH A STICK? Me: To see if you're real or if I'm just high"

"What do you call a black man on the moon? *An Astronaut*"