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Joke of the Day

"Therapy Me: she never tells me anything Her: He doesn't listen Me: that's bs gimme an example Her: I'm 8 months pregnant Me: WHOA"

"What's the difference between a Piano and a Fish? You can tune a piano but you can't Tuna Fish!"

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent Van Gogh? You gonna eat that?"

"4 out of 5 Dentist agree that your low-cut blouse shows off your nice rack! The fifth Dentist wants to know where you got that blouse."

"I was eating at an Indian restaurant when a homeless man came in and asked the girl behind the counter if they had any food he could have. She told him there was Naan."

"*aggressively skips to my Lou*"

"Why did the Xbox owner cross the road? To fuck your mom."

"Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra"

"Before emjois i had to end texts to my girlfriends with ""two girls holding hands* heart* kissy face* glass of wine* nail polish* red lips."""

"Netflix is becoming a viable competitor to cable service So your local cable company is now offering headend and bellend"