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Joke of the Day

"How do you say ""whoops"" in German? World War 2"

"My dentist recommended I sleep with a mouth guard, but I'm skeptical insurance even covers who I sleep with."

"Before you ever criticize someone... walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."

"Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from? The School of Hard Knocks."

"My kids are in Karate class and I'm just sitting here thinking that I could kick the shit out of half these 6 year olds."

"What do you call a pompous piece of bread? A braguette."

"Why did Ms. piggy call in sick to work? Because she had a frog in her throat."

"Mexico Olympic Team Joke Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team? Their best swimmers are all in American waters."

"What's the best kind of guy to get fingered by? One with Parkinson's disease!"

"But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce."