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Joke of the Day

"Flint Lead Did you hear they discovered the number one source of lead poisoning in Flint MI is not the water.......it's the bullets."

"What did the snowman say to the other snowman? ""do you smell carrots?"""

"[Mulder softly whispering ""I want to"" at every exhibit in the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum.]"

"What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen? A Moss-cow"

"What to do? What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and use more lube."

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch!"

"Japan's flag is like a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan."

"[Christmas] 6:30kids are excited 7:30kids are playing 8:00kids are fighting 9:00kids are crying 9:15wife is yelling 9:30I am drinking"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ? 1 or 2 ? 1... or 2..."

"Every man was once a man trapped in a woman's body."