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Joke of the Day

"Funniest joke on wife Always love your mother because you will not get another . . Ok. Agreed! Always love your ~~mother~~ wife even though you will ~~never~~ get another one later.."

"Be Careful of Egyptian Sharks They can smell blood a nile away"

"How is eating pussy and being in the Mafia similar? One slip of tongue and you're in deep shit!!"

"Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because a jewish woman wouldn't touch anything unless it's 20% off."

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces."

"At least Mexicans make good immigrants and don't bomb nobody."

"What's the difference between a Lentil and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a Lentil on my face."

"[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there"

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts."

"Do cats stutter? No, but they paws."