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Joke of the Day

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care"

"What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."

"I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational..."

"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? BOO'S."

"After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance ""The Human"" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet"

"People who talk with your phone on speaker like it's a Star Trek Communicator - we're trying to have a society here. And everyone hates you."

"I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep. Edit: WOW my top post is now a bestiality joke. Thanks guys :)"

"What's the difference between a pest and vermin? Walt Disney."

"Nobody ever believes me when I say I have to go to the bathroom. They always say that I'm full of crap"

"My doctor told me I had stop masturbating. I asked why and she said ""because you're in my office and it's fucking disgusting."" Fair enough."