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Joke of the Day

"New drinking game Take a shot everytime they ask ""Are we there yet"" I've gone through two bottles of vodka at mile 149"

"Plutonium smells just like shit. Pu."

"There are three types of people in this world... Those that can count, and those that can't."

"Why is golf better than sex? It lasts for hours and they are 18 different holes."

"I put a beaker of sodium hydroxide on a biography. It was base on a true story."

"I must be baked Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin looked at the other muffin and said, ""Hey man, is it getting hot in here?"" And the other muffin said, ""Ahhhhh! You can talk!"""

"Everyone prepare yourself for National ""How is it May already?"" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet."

"To Brie or not to Brie. That is the queso."

"Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea."

"Why did Hitler kill himself? . . . . He saw his gas bill."