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Joke of the Day

"TIL: Amy Winehouse spent the last moment of her life watching her own video clips on Youtube before her death. She must have read the comments."

"Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King? Because you have to court her before you pound her."

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"Final words to David before surgery: ""If I don't make it? Swear you'll have me cremated & snort my ashes off a hooker's ass."" He promised."

"Did you hear about the guy who fell into a truck full of French bread? He's in a lot of pain now."

"If you are unhappy with this status update, please press 0 to speak with a customer service representative. Just kidding! Kiss my ass"

"A telephone rang. ""Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"" ""Yes, it is,"" came the reply. ""Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."""

"Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can carry a dozen doughnuts and 2 cups of coffee."

"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."

"""Snitches get stitches"" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, ""Snitches never wake up again"" is more likely to deter snitching..."