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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit an elephant in the subway? You take the letter ""S"" out of ""sub"", and the letter ""F"" out of ""way""."

"Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans? Because the extra bean would be too farty."

"Why do you never see Mexicans with acne? They keep slipping off."

"*holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again."

"Now responding to all ""hello"" DMs with ""Adele?"""

"How do you ensure the Letter Y has a clean bathroom experience? A Kleenex. That will be all."

"What is the difference between San Francisco and Larkspur? Larkspur has a ferry terminal, San Francisco has terminal fairies."

"YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?! Shifting before you are driving fast enough to do so."

"I work in the entertainment industry, so the only way I could lie more is if I worked in politics."

"Starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse."