156528

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay loaf of bread? A faguette ^^^^I ^^^^just ^^^^made ^^^^this ^^^^up ^^^^and ^^^^I'm ^^^^so ^^^^proud"

"Incidentally, the WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."

"I'm gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg! ""Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!"" Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship."

"Bear tip: If a bear is mauling you to death, challenge it to a maths quiz instead (mauling people to death is against the rules in quizzes)"

"Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!"

"A facebook friend posted, ""I'm not ashamed of Jesus."" It took every single ounce of my willpower not to reply, ""Uh oh. What did he do now?"""

"At the bank, I told the teller I'd like to open a joint account She asked ""Okay, with whom?"" ""With whoever had the most money"" I answered"

"What do tight jeans and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom"

"""Shake what your mama gave ya."" ""You want me to shake a $25 Macy's gift card?"""

"*smokes fat doobie* *enters hotdog eating contest* *sets Guinness World Record* *gets disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs*"