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Joke of the Day

"Dear iPhone, I have typed ""haha"" like a million times, but yet you continually give me ""haga"", ""hsha"", ""gaga"", ""hahss"", ""hahs"" I hate you"

"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."

"The cops arrested my phone yesterday. They charged it with battery."

"The cutest thing my SO does... Her handwriting looks like she has Parkinson's"

"Me: Woohoo, I survived Thanksgiving! I can relax now. Anxiety: Haha...Christmas."

"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No,*CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""

"Why did the pony have such a hard time talking? He was a little horse"

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! ...hustling British casinos wasn't as easy as we'd hoped."

"What are your guys' best Cards Against Humanity answers?"

"How do you spot the blind man at the nudist beach? It's not hard"