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Joke of the Day

"Dear iPhone, I have typed ""haha"" like a million times, but yet you continually give me ""haga"", ""hsha"", ""gaga"", ""hahss"", ""hahs"" I hate you"

"Does anyone know a cure for excessive ear wax. If you do, please give me a shout."

"Just finished the first chapter of this novel. Tons of characters with the same name and really hard to follow. Sir, that's a phone book."

"Why did the piglets get in trouble in their stained glass class? They stained it with mud."

"A Library is a good place to get in a fight with ur girlfriend cuz its the only place u can get away with saying ""Shhh"" w/out being murdered"

"Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I'll take lookout."

"What's E.T. short for? He's just got little legs."

"The Three Up's in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut"

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""hello from the other side."""

"Overworked Employee in India"