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Joke of the Day

"Ian: ""I baked you a pie to say sorry for backing over your cat in my car."" Tim: ""You did what?!"" Ian: ""Baked you a pie."""

"5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions."

"I don't know many football players except... The one with the Messi hair"

"I wrote a book about my car It was an auto-biography"

"What do you call a bunch of phones having sex? A 4G."

"A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -"

"Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie."

"Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana."

"This morning they were out of cinnamon buns at the coffee shop so I asked for an antonym bun. I hate when people roll their eyes."

"9 just scolded me at the grocery for buying wine. I told him it was ok, I was 21 to which he loudly responded, Nooo, you're 38. Thanks son."