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Joke of the Day

"Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code."

"How was Rome cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

"What do you get when you cross a monastery with a convent? A cloister fuck, obviously."

"My girlfriend just told me she might be pregnant I told her to cut it out"

"What did the Wife-DNA say to the Husband-DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?"

"I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there's no point in bothering with hash browns then."

"My wife has been binge watching episodes of snapped, so I cancelled my life insurance policy, and haven't slept or eaten in days."

"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"

"What do you call a lost crayon? a Strayola"

"The Lord said unto John; ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster."