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Joke of the Day

"Grammar is important. It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."

"What looks like a dog sounds like a dog eats like a dog but isn't a dog? A pup."

"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coughin?"""

"I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you."

"Use 'discount' in a sentence. Teacher: Johnny, please use ""discount"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am, ""Does discount as a sentence?"""

"Do you know why the self driving car crashed? It had a bad driver."

"I am in prison for something I didn't do I didn't pay my taxes"

"The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling ""woo hoo"", but after that my schedule is wide open"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie Not kicking and screaming like the passengers on his bus"

"I dont think being Gay is a choice Becuase if it was who would want to be Gay?"