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Joke of the Day
"I've never lost a game of monopoly But I have lost a lot of friends."
Next Joke
"Who decided smiling would be the default expression for pictures?"
"What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls? They don't have a pilots license."
"What did the depressed terrorist say to the passengers on the plane he hijacked? I'm sorry to bring you all down."
"What has 4 wheels and flies? /u/IDrewTheDuckBlue's car. [Credit.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3ez4sp/just_drove_from_california_to_illinois_with_a_fly/)"
"Q: If one horse is in the corral, running around the perimeter of the fence, and another horse is running free in a field, which one is singing, ""Don't Fence Me In""? A: Neither. Horses can't sing."
"Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I'll be just fine."
"When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread."
"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."
"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"