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Joke of the Day

"You guys wanna hear a potassium joke? K"

"My friend just sent me this one. > To the person who stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you! > You have my Word!"

"My wife complained the other day, ""Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?"" I laughed and said, ""Don't be silly honey, he gave us women."""

"Dentist: open Me: *opens* Dentist: wider Me: *opens more* Dentist: wider Me: *opens more* Dentist: that's it, now come in and take a seat"

"Today, my son asked me why girls always pee sitting down I told him it's because they're lazy Not necessarily a joke but kinda funny nonetheless."

"[bald eagles exchanging gifts] *holds out gift* You didn't get me a toupee again, did you? -Uhh... *slowly pulls gift back*"

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day."

"Why will the next IPhones be the hottest best selling phones? Because they'll be sexy(6c) and a success(6s)"

"John and Nancy sitting in a tree, H-I-D-I-N-G-F-R-O-M-T-H-E-L-O-C-A-L-A-U-T-H-O-R-I-T-I-E-S-B-E-C-A-U-S-E-T-H-E-Y-K-I-L-L-E-D-A-D-O-G"

"What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. JK ROLLING"