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Joke of the Day
"[commercial for soup] NARRATOR: ever wanna drink a sandwich?"
Next Joke
"Two muffins are baking in an oven ... And one muffin turns to the other one and says, ""Wow, it's pretty darn hot in here."" The other muffin says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""
"I fell in love with a prostitute last night, she had literally everything I have ever wanted in a woman My dick"
"""I'm not going to cosine this oppression in math class...."" Its my triggernometry class"
"[Standing still for a picture] I guess you can say I'm *turns around for a second and the camera goes off* not good at posing for pictures."
"The periodic table has expanded and the additions were rather heavy. There's no more room for any more elephants."
"A business that sells crucifix shaped skis called 'cross country'"
"If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway."
"Did you know that Stevie Wonder has seven kids? He never sees them though."
"Can gorillas swim? No."