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Joke of the Day

"The biggest cause of paedophilia in the world today... ...sexy kids"

"some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor"

"A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws."

"Silence is golden. Unless they're in the shower and you can't find their phone. In that case, silence is very very suspicious!"

"Girl, if you were a camel, I'd hump you!"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"

"What do you call a guy with a shovel? Doug"

"Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*"

"Her: You're up to a pack a day nowyou have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime."