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Joke of the Day

"Netflix and Chill or ... Redtube and Lube "

"What's common between Hillary and Bill Clinton? A jew blowing their presidency"

"Accents are important. Would you rather be touched by Jesus or Jesus?"

"Blow Bubbles ""Hey"", I said to my friend. ""You ever blow Bubbles?"" ""Of course I did"", he said. ""Well,"" I replied, ""I think he must have liked it. He's back in town and asking for you."""

"The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort."

"""hey jay"" ""sup world war"" ""how u doin' dragon ball"" - the z family reunion"

"If your rape whistle doesn't work you're fucked."

"Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?"

"Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face."

"Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator."