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Joke of the Day

"I'm not totally useless... I can be used as a bad example."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off."

"A few weeks ago my dad decided he was going to order pizza from his iPad. He's almost finished."

"What kind of back problem did the terrorist have? Scoli-isis"

"Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely tweeting faster than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space."

"Mike eats all day, that's all he does I guess he's living life to the fullest"

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"A fish asked a lobster why he gets boiled alive The lobster replied ""your face looks boiled"" The fish says ""I guess you can't be roasted"""

"Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am."

"What did the composer say on a date? ""I'm a Classic Romantic....I'm also Baroque."""