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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how many people were gored in Spain during the running of the bulls? Same as last year: Not enough"

"So many people on Facebook ""Like"" everything but grammar."

"How do you get a drummer off of your porch? pay for the pizza."

"This vacuum has amazing suction but no respect for my safe word."

"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar... The number of occupants exceeds the maximum allowable number for fire safety, and thus the bartender throws them out."

"[working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met."

"A recent survey found. 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy"

"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."

"I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?"

"[shopping] May I help you find something? ""Where are the giants?"" What? ""Your sign outside says there's a giant sale."""