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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't trying to break you up, but she asked me what I did last night, and your name came up. *shrugs"

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"""And He was buried and He rose again on the third day and on the fourth day He bought a shitload of Peeps for half price."" 1 Walgreens 15:4"
"Math made simple: If you have $20 and your wife has $15, she has $35."
"Greek Tailor's Shop A Greek man walks into a Greek tailor shop holding a pair of jeans. The blind old tailor squints at him. ""Euripedes?"" The man nods and holds up the pants. ""Eumenedes?"""
"My Wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter. I dont know what she was more angry about, me having sex with our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep the foetus"
"Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea."
"My girlfriend of 3 years has never told me a joke. We are in a serious relationship."
"Its real cute how pedestrians confuse ""right of way"" with immortality."
"Things in common When does atheism become synonymous with running? A: When you draw Mohamad. Edit: Reworded it to make sense."
"Who decided that a clown popping suddenly out of a metal box would be a good toy for young children?"