151971

Joke of the Day

"How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash."

"Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A: I told you to lick my erection not wreck my election."

"What did Trump say to Hillary when she told him a joke? ""You're Hillaryus"" I'll walk myself out..."

"Here's a good joke... SWAG"

"What's the difference between sperm and lawyers? Sperm have a 1 in 3,000,000 chance to become a human being."

"What did Courtney Love say to Kurt Kobain after finding out he cheated on her? *""I'll give you one more shot""*"

"Is there a shorter word for monosyllabic? Credit: Stephen Wright"

"I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??"

"The memory foam in my mattress is probably wishing it could forget me."

"People always say ""Wow, your baby looks so much like you,"" as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug."