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Joke of the Day

"The only way that meal could have been more disappointing is if it were an M. Night Shyamalan film."

"Disappointed the ATM didn't shoot out a burst of confetti to congratulate me for having enough to pull out twenty bucks."

"How do you spell me? ""M E."" ""No you forgot the D."" ""There's no D in me."" ""Not yet."" It's a classic, my friend got me with this right after I got him with the ""duck weigh""."

"What's the similarity between being in the mob and... eating pussy? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"I got hit by a can of coke... Good thing it was a soft drink."

"A funny knock knock joke I've heard awhile ago... *knock* *knock* who's there? Doctor Doctor who? ...exactly!"

"I like my women like I like my memes... Dank"

"Employers are now blocking Twitter at the office. Is there a way I can do that on my home computer? Asking for a guy who should be working."

"Hey girl, I've got a sex-Ed project due tomorrow... And I need a 69 to pass."

"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."