151343

Joke of the Day

"Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call somebody with no body and just a nose? Nobody knows!"
"Doctor: ""I have the results of your test. You're gonna have to stop masturbating."" Me: ""Oh no! Why doctor?"" Doctor: ""Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."""
"Dyslexia didn't stop Mark Twain being a great writer He didn't even suffer from it."
"Met a woman with 12 boobs the other day Sounds weird dozen tit?"
"Q: Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? A: So you'll never know which side he's on."
"What do you call the James Brown songs no one listens to? Defunct funk."
"If I was a superhero, I would be ""not right now"" man."
"The phrase ""Silence is golden"" doesn't make any sense because duct tape is silver."
"I don't get how Bono is such a great philanthropist... I mean, isn't it a little selfish of him to do everything ""pro bono""?"